The Aftermath Of Paperclips And Partial Nudity // Merlin RPF // Colin/Bradley

[echoes]

Title: The Aftermath Of Paperclips And Partial Nudity
Fandom: Merlin RPF
Character/Pairing: Colin/Bradley, appearances by Angel, Katie, and Joe Dempsie
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~800
Summary: In which the Paperclip Incident makes stuff happen. Four separate conversations taking place during another one of those Important Meetings. Prequel-type thing to Passing Notes.
Notes: OK, so. doompaw and I wrote this weird comment fic about Katie bullying Bradley, I discussed the repercussions of such an event with thisissirius, and then I ran into this conversation I once had about Bradley being weird with sophieisgod and this baby was born. YOU CAN BLAME THEM FOR THIS.

Also, while you're here: facesofbradley (run by thisissirius and lonelyfajita), a comm about Bradley's Stupid Face. IT'S AS AWESOME AS IT SOUNDS, AND I LOVE IT TO A RIDICULOUS DEGREE.





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Comments

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

(I SWEAR TO GOD, WOMAN. NOW I WANT TO WRITE THIS TOOOOOO. DDDD:

"Hey Katie, you're a PI part-time, yeah?"

Katie choked on her soda, "What, how do you know that?"

Anthony shrugged. "I looked you up in the yellow pages."

"Oh," said Katie, feeling rather stupid. She should have known, honestly. Anthony spent an inordinate amount of time going through the yellow pages.

"Anyway, d'you want to make 10 pounds?"

"I make more than that tracking down someone's lost cat, Anthony.")


I WILL BE BACK WITH MORE PONY!FIC LATER. *needs to finish another Merlin RPF piece and get it betaed before midnight*

[mklutz]

(ANTHONY, YOU CHEAPSKATE.)

Eventually Anthony tells her what he needs her to look into, and Katie agrees to lower her standard fee from 400 pounds to 350, because it's something interesting.

Interestingly, none of the other cast or crew seem to know enough French to have figured out that there actually is free wireless at their lodging. Katie logs on and begins by doing a quick Google search before she sends out a few subtle enquiries to the usual individuals.

She then spends half an hour looking at cat macros and recording it as time charged to Anthony before going over tomorrow's script.

[lalumena.livejournal.com]

I'M TRYING TO WORK OUT WHETHER HE WOULD MAKE FAIRY BREAD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_bread) OUT OF IT OR NOT.

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

UM, WHAT? WHY DID I NOT REALISE THERE WAS MORE PONY!FIC?

You, sir, are a delight. Also, LOL at Anthony being the uncle who puts, like, 50p in birthday cards.

KATIE AS A PI, OH MY DAYS. She would look fabulous in a trenchcoat, it must be said.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

THE PONY!FIC IS ALWAYS GROWING.

She would. Tiny!Katie probably dreamed of being a PI because of the awesome, swishy trenchcoats she saw them wearing on TV.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

I LOVE HOW ANTHONY IS ALWAYS JUMPING IN ON CONVERSATIONS WITH THE COOL KIDS. HE IS YOUNG AT HEART.

BRADLEY: *RUNS OFF WITH COLIN*
ANGEL: YOU GUYS ARE HORRIBLE.
KATIE: ???
ANGEL: I DON'T THINK THAT THEY THINK YOU KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT THEIR SEKRIT ROMANCE.
KATIE: BUT THAT JUST MAKES IT FUNNIER. D:
ANTHONY HEAD: DID YOU HEAR BRADLEY'S EXCUSE FOR THAT HICKEY ON HIS NECK? SAID A LAMP FELL ON HIM!
KATIE: LOLZ.
ANGEL: ...

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

(OH GOD, CAT MACROS)

Katie's surprised by how quickly the results come in. Until she takes a look at the pictures. All she has to say is: Colin and Bradley really need to take their extracurricular activities to more private places. God, she will never be able to wash those not-entirely-mental images from her mind. But the were kind of hot. Sort of.

The next day, she walks up to a tree wear Colin and Bradley are - or so they say - "doing homework".

"You know what's really disgusting?" Katie asks as she plops down next to them. She ignores Bradley, who keeps flashing her annoyed, 'PLEASE GO AWAY' looks.

"Hmm?" Colin replies.

"All those people who have sex on their hotel balconies. I so did not need to see that, last night."

Colin blushes a bit and makes a weird, coughing sound. Bradley chokes on his Coke and spills half the bottle on his chainmail.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

(It's probably over the character limit! I bet Bradley decides to try to text it all out and is SO DISAPPOINTED when he finds out it really is over the character limit. Not that he'd ever send it, because no one knows about him and Colin HOMG.)

Bradley has to tell someone about Colin. Except he can't tell anyone about Colin. But he's getting filled up with so much GLEE that if he doesn't tell anyone, he's going to end up yelling it out while they're all at craft services. Suffice to say, Bradley is and always has been terrible at keeping secrets.

So he tells Angel. Sort of.

"Hey Angel, can I tell you about my hypothetical boyfriend?" Bradley thinks maybe he should have subbed in the word 'girlfriend', only he's terrible with pronouns, so it probably wouldn't have worked out very well.

"...Sure, Bradley."

[mklutz]

ANTHONY IS ONE OF THE COOL KIDS. HE'S THE ONE WHO TOLD THEM TO STOP DRINKING MILK. I HEAR IT'S BAD FOR YOUR BONES OR SOMETHING. THAT'S WHAT ANTHONY SAID.

He said a lamp fell on him! OH, BRADLEY.

BRADLEY: OMG, WE HAVE TO COME UP WITH A GOOD STORY FOR WHERE WE WERE.
COLIN: UH, I'M PRETTY SURE THEY ALL KNOW.
BRADLEY: !!!
BRADLEY: ...
BRADLEY: OH! YOU'RE JOKING!

LATER, TO CAMERA:

BRADLEY: ...BUT NOW I'VE ATTUNED MYSELF TO HIS SENSE OF HUMOUR, WHICH IS PRETTY DARK, ACTUALLY.
COLIN: NO HE HASN'T.

[mklutz]

(CAT MACROS. Real!Katie probably isn't into them at all, but PI Katie needs a break now and then, you know?)

Costuming is, of course, pretty pissed off about the coke thing, and Bradley's scene is moved back while they clean it up and re-dress him.

In the meantime, Katie's scene with Colin has been moved up to accommodate.

"You really shouldn't tease him so much," Colin says between takes.

"I really should," Katie replies just as seriously. "And I was serious about the balcony thing. Not that it's not lucrative."

For the first time in the four months she's known Colin, he actually whips his head around and turns an unusually bright shade of pink, not just his usual low flush. "WHAT?"

Oh, Katie thinks. Interesting.

[mklutz]

"Angel thinks I'm a habitual liar," Bradley says out of the blue, plunking down in Colin's personal space. He immediately has one arm around his shoulder and is sitting much too close for their supposed secret-relationship.

"Angel thinks you were dropped on your head a lot as a child, or possibly even recently, and it made you delusional," Colin corrects.

When Bradley pouts, he sticks his lower lip out to a ridiculous extent in a way that makes him look sort of like a camel. It's pretty unfortunate.

"That's because Angel is--" Bradley looks left and right conspicuously "---a dirty hussy."

"I'll be sure to tell her that," Katie says from directly behind them. "Though for the record I'm pretty sure she thinks Bradley has a learning disorder. A genetic one."

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

ANTHONY'S WORD IS LAW. MILK IS BAD FOR YOUR BONES! SPREAD THE WORD!

KATIE: *DUCKS HEAD IN* MERLIN FANS, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BRADLEY REGULARLY GETS LAMPS DROPPED ON HIM. UNFORTUNATE.
BRADLEY: AJL;DAKFJDL;AFJ;KDJ SHUT UP KATIE.
KATIE: ALSO, COLIN LIKES PAPERCLIPS.
COLIN: ...YOU NEVER STOP, DO YOU?
ANTHONY HEAD: *DUCKS HEAD IN* SHE'S RIGHT, THOUGH.
BRADLEY: WHY DON'T YOU GUYS JUST GO AND MAKE YOUR OWN VIDEO DIARY???
KATIE: WE SHOULD. WE'LL CALL IT "WHAT COLIN AND BRADLEY DO IN SECLUDED CORNERS WHEN THEY THINK NO ONE'S LOOKING"
COLIN: !!!
BRADLEY: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
KATIE: IT WAS A JOKE, GOD...

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

(KATIE WINS. FOR LIFE. Popping up when Bradley everyone least expects it!)

"From the...ponies?" Bradley says, utterly confused. Everyone knew he wasn't directly descended from ponies right? Because that would just be weird.

Katie gives him a look of unparalleled...well, Bradley's not entirely sure what it is. A mix of 'You're an idiot' and 'WHY DO I KNOW YOU?', with a handy bit of 'I will stab you with my shoe' going on as well. Katie tends to wear it a lot in front of him. "No," she says slowly, "Not from the ponies."

Colin makes a smothered coughing sound that's a probably a laugh in disguise. Traitor.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

Colin spends the next couple of days giving her wary glances and combing through various tabloid magazines like a hawk (not like it matters, since images of him and Bradley having sex on a balcony would probably end up in the first few pages, due to the sheer insanity).

Apparently he thinks Katie is a secret paparazzo in her spare time. It's very amusing, especially when Bradley catches on.

He corners her one day when she's leaving craft services (well, 'finds and drags away very obviously' to be accurate) and proceeds to make sad eyes at her and ask, "What have you and Colin been doing lately?"

It takes Katie a lot of effort to keep from bursting into hysterical laughter. "Obviously Colin and I are having a secret love affair," she says flatly.

[oximore.livejournal.com]

"I cannot believe you've already lost your snogging in a broom closet virginity. To someone else!"

OMFGLOL!!!!!

*die laughing*

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

\0/ Thank you for reading!

[glenien.livejournal.com]

MY ENTIRE BODY HURTS FROM LAUGHING!

MORE! MORE! MORE!

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU FOR READING!

(...THERE WILL PROBABLY BE MORE.)

[cellshader.livejournal.com]

Oh My God.

PONIES.

PONIES. Not horses, PONIES.

I would tell you how much I love and adore you for writing all that (ESPECIALLY the bit about Anthony XDD) but I am laughing too hard still to think coherently and then type it out. xDD
Please accept my apologies and my expressive userpic as illustration. ♥

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

Heeee, thank you so much! XD

[shuralove.livejournal.com]

this was maybe even funnier than the last one.

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!!

you are contributing to my new found bradley love... WOOHOO!!

so meming this

FAB - U - LOUS darling

x x x

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

Hah, thanks so much!!

[cassandrathevil.livejournal.com]

brb going to the bathroom before I piss myself laughing

♥

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading!

[incinerapture.livejournal.com]

I... think I just stepped into the world of insanity.


Hilarious insanity, though. One that will suck me in. I'm gonna add you!