echoes | The Aftermath Of Paperclips And Partial Nudity // Merlin RPF // Colin/Bradley

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The Aftermath Of Paperclips And Partial Nudity // Merlin RPF // Colin/Bradley

Title: The Aftermath Of Paperclips And Partial Nudity
Fandom: Merlin RPF
Character/Pairing: Colin/Bradley, appearances by Angel, Katie, and Joe Dempsie
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~800
Summary: In which the Paperclip Incident makes stuff happen. Four separate conversations taking place during another one of those Important Meetings. Prequel-type thing to Passing Notes.
Notes: OK, so.

doompaw and I wrote this weird comment fic about Katie bullying Bradley, I discussed the repercussions of such an event with

thisissirius, and then I ran into this conversation I once had about Bradley being weird with

sophieisgod and this baby was born. YOU CAN BLAME THEM FOR THIS.

Also, while you're here:

facesofbradley (run by

thisissirius and

lonelyfajita), a comm about Bradley's Stupid Face. IT'S AS AWESOME AS IT SOUNDS, AND I LOVE IT TO A RIDICULOUS DEGREE.

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OMG the pony fic is epic and awesome XD
You GUYS!

Bradley and ponies just seems to be a combination of EPIC WIN.

\0/ \0/ \0/

Thank youuuuu!

(I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO THESE THINGS.)

YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE. BRADLEY'S SECRET HISTORY IS COMING TO A TABLOID ANY DAY NOW.

*g* Thank you for reading! :D

I am extremely delighted by the fact that I somehow popped up on Google Alerts! Thank you for reading. ♥

♥♥♥ Thank youuuuu!

(There will probably be more, if only because I will need something NICE AND EASY to write once I dive back into plot for reel_merlin.)

3) I'm pretty sure neither Colin nor Bradley has never actually seen a dumbwaiter before, leading to delusions about how large and/or comfortable they are. Bradley will probably try to cram himself in no matter HOW small it looks just to prove he can (leading to him inevitably getting stuck).

Thank you for reading!

KATIE: HEY BRADLEY, DO YOU TAKE YOU SOCKS OFF DURING SEX?
BRADLEY: ...
KATIE: THIS IS FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES.
BRADLEY: UM, SOMETIMES? IT REALLY JUST DEPENDS ON WHO I'M SLEEPING WITH. *GROWS MORE ANIMATED* I MEAN, THERE WAS THE ONE GIRL WHO WAS ALL -
KATIE: RIGHT, I'LL JUST GO ASK COLIN, THEN.

Katie finds out, because Katie always finds out.

"Ponies, huh?" she says appraisingly, eying the photo of his parents.

"IT'S JUST PHOTOSHOP," Bradley protests (despite not really knowing what 'Photoshop' is - sounds intelligent, anyway), but Katie just gives him a Look and reaches out to adjust his chainmail.

Surprisingly, Bradley does not find his life story in the tabloids the next morning. He does, however, begin finding bags of carrots and apples in weird places (his sock drawer?).

(Katie is clearly a ninja like that and might secretly have a part-time side business as a PI. That's why she's never in the extra features, though nobody else knows. She's busy PI'ing.)

He sends a lot of the carrots and apples home to his family because it's the nice thing to do and because there's a recession coming on, but some of them he keeps on hand.

Many of his costumes have quite a lot of spare room and it's actually incredibly convenient to have an apple or carrot on hand for a snack when he wants to avoid food services. Richard hangs out there sometimes when he doesn't have a scene, and lately he's taken to putting together flamboyent unicorn puzzles. Bradley's not sure if Richard heard the ridiculous story or if someone just got him the puzzles.

The snacks also prove useful when Bradley catches Colin sitting in full sun, doing what appears to be yet more homework. He tosses an apple so it lands perfectly in Colin's lap, and when he finally looks up, gestures him over into the shade.

"What is it with you and all this homework, anyway?" Bradley asks as Colin settles his pens and things and leans against Bradley in the shade.

"This isn't homework," Colin replies, "It's a letter to your Mum."

Yay! I shall be looking forward to it :D

It's clearly because you're awesome (and brilliantly bonkers).

THIS WAS SO ENTIRELY AMAZING! I LOVE YOU! ♥

CAN WE TALK ABOUT MY UNPRECEDENTED LOVE FOR HANDWRITING FIC? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY. GREATEST THING SINCE BRADLEY STOLE THE SLICED BREAD. &hearts:

Also side note, Unicorn Party.

Bradley: Mum? What are you doing here?

KATIE: COLIN. SOCKS. SEX. WHERE DO YOU STAND?
COLIN: UH...WHUT?
KATIE: OH FFS. DO YOU REMOVE YOUR SOCKS BEFORE COMMENCING THE ACT OF LOVE? IT IS RELEVANT TO OUR INTERESTS.
COLIN: D: D: D: I CAN'T- WHY WOULD YOU EVEN- *FLAILS*
KATIE: ANGEL THINKS YOU DO BUT I THINK YOU DON'T. AND POSSIBLY EVEN INCORPORATE THEM IN SOME WAY, JUDGING BY BRADLEY'S REACTION.
COLIN: *FACE OF ONE WHO HAS SEEN THEIR DOOM* YOU ASKED BRADLEY??!!!?
KATIE. OH YES. HE TOLD US EVERYTHING, COLS. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
COLIN. I'M...GOING...TO...KILL...HIM...

Hah, I'm glad you enjoyed! ♥ Thanks for reading!!

AHAHAHA BRADLEY WOULD STEAL THE SLICED BREAD. XD XD

Thank youuuuu! ♥

(She would, too! KATIE STOLE BRADLEY'S CAMERA FOR PI PURPOSES.)

"This isn't homework," Colin replies, "It's a letter to your Mum."

DAJKFDA;FJD;KAF;LEA I DIED.

For about thirty seconds, Bradley is delighted beyond mere words. He has a rather intense desire to text everyone he's ever known with the message, "MY BOYFRIEND WRITES LETTERS TO MY MUM. I BET YOUR BOYFRIEND DOESN'T WRITE LETTERS TO YOUR MUM" but then a stray thought manages to break through his happy bubble.

"I don't think ponies can read," Bradley says rather miserably.

Colin gives him a confused look. "...I know. But she seems to like my voice, so. Thought it might be nice to read something about you to her instead of having an extremely one-sided conversation about the joys of vegetables."

"Oh."

"Wait," Colin says, smirking, "Did you think I was going to give it to her to read?"

BRADLEY'S MUM IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE CUTEST THING I HAVE SEEN THIS WEEK.

EVERYONE: SURPRISE!!!!!
BRADLEY: ....YOU THREW ME A UNICORN BIRTHDAY PARTY?
KATIE: AWESOME, HUH? *PUTS SPARKLY TIARA ON BRADLEY'S HEAD* ALSO, I THINK YOUR MUM'S OUTSIDE.
BRADLEY: JKLDA;LFAEJ;LFADF;LJF SHE WALKED HERE??? WHAT IF SHE'D GOTTEN RUN OVER BY A TRUCK???? HOW'D SHE EVEN KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME??
KATIE: ACTUALLY, I THINK COLIN BROUGHT HER.

*SEVENTY MINUTES LATER*

COLIN: - THE THING WITH THE HANDCUFFS AND BOBBY PINS WASN'T EVEN MY IDEA! AND WE ONLY HAD SEX IN MORGANA'S DRESS BECAUSE -
KATIE: *CHOKING ON CARBONATED BEVERAGE* YOU WHAT IN MY DRESS??????
COLIN: WELL, IT WAS ONLY...BRADLEY DIDN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING DID HE?
KATIE: DUH. I JUST TOLD YOU THAT FOR THE LULZ. HE PRACTICALLY CHOKED ON HIS OWN SALIVA WHEN I ASKED ABOUT YOUR SECRET GAY ROMANCE. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO DOUSE ALL MY COSTUMES WITH BLEACH.

(KATIE MCGRATH: PRIVATE INVESTIGTOR. Just let me say I think this would be an awesome start to an RPS fic where someone hires her to figure out what's going on with Bradley and Colin. Maybe ASH hires her. Because he is bored.)

"Uh, no," Bradley lies (badly). "Of course not."

Colin's expression clearly says that he doesn't believe Bradley but maybe he finds it a little endearing anyway. He has very verbose expressions. "Right, whatever. I thought we could visit again next weekend or something."

It is perhaps unfortunate that Bradley's fingers begin to itch again, because all he can think of now is text messaging everyone he's ever known, "MY BOYFRIEND WRITES LETTERS TO MY MUM AND ALSO WANTS TO VISIT MY FAMILY AGAIN NEXT WEEKEND AND IT WAS HIS IDEA AND HE IS GOING TO READ TO HER IN THAT ACCENT THAT MAKES MY SPINE MELT. I BET YOUR BOYFRIEND DOESN'T DO ANY OF THAT."

But it's probably over the character limit, or something.

BRADLEY'S MUM IS GOING A BIT GREY AT THE TEMPLES BUT IT JUST MAKES HER LOOK AUSTERE. HE IS CONTEMPLATING HAVING HER PORTRAIT PAINTED.

COLIN: HEY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
BRADLEY: [TACKLES EXUBERANTLY]
COLIN: OW!
ANGEL: I DON'T THINK HE HAS ENOUGH PADDING TO TAKE THAT KIND OF BLOW, BRADLEY. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET OFF HIM.
KATIE: I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT HE TAKES ALL SORTS OF BLOWS FROM BRADLEY ALL THE TIME. IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT.
ANGEL: D:
ANTHONY HEAD: I CATCH IT.

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The Aftermath Of Paperclips And Partial Nudity // Merlin RPF // Colin/Bradley

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