The Aftermath Of Paperclips And Partial Nudity // Merlin RPF // Colin/Bradley

[echoes]

Title: The Aftermath Of Paperclips And Partial Nudity
Fandom: Merlin RPF
Character/Pairing: Colin/Bradley, appearances by Angel, Katie, and Joe Dempsie
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~800
Summary: In which the Paperclip Incident makes stuff happen. Four separate conversations taking place during another one of those Important Meetings. Prequel-type thing to Passing Notes.
Notes: OK, so. doompaw and I wrote this weird comment fic about Katie bullying Bradley, I discussed the repercussions of such an event with thisissirius, and then I ran into this conversation I once had about Bradley being weird with sophieisgod and this baby was born. YOU CAN BLAME THEM FOR THIS.

Also, while you're here: facesofbradley (run by thisissirius and lonelyfajita), a comm about Bradley's Stupid Face. IT'S AS AWESOME AS IT SOUNDS, AND I LOVE IT TO A RIDICULOUS DEGREE.





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Comments

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

WELL, YOU ASKED FOR IT.

Bradley doesn't quite recall how he ended up being raised by ponies. It was all quite strange. Though he remembers something about apples, an inexplicable fire, and a map of Ireland. The ponies were totally cooler than regular parents, though. They let him eat whatever, and prance around in meadows of flowers, and all was good.

There were the obvious communication blocks, of course, but Bradley had learned to convey things using a special form of interpretive dance (the ponies mostly blinked and flicked their tails a lot when he did this, but Bradley was convinced there was secret understanding in their eyes).

IT IS EASIER TO WRITE "BRADLEY IS RAISED BY PONIES" FIC THAN YOU MIGHT THINK.


Thanks for reading, darling. ♥

[sophieisgod.livejournal.com]

*ACTUALLY GASPING NOW*

OH GOD, OH GOD, INTERPRETIVE DANCE!!!!

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

BRADLEY IS VERY GOOD AT INTERPRETIVE DANCE. ALSO: JUGGLING, BALANCING THINGS ON HIS HEAD, AND CHOPPING VEGETABLES INTO FLOWER SHAPES.

[mklutz]

AHAHAHAHA, ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN THROUGH INTERPRETIVE DANCE!! <3 <3

You know, it is strangely plausible that Bradley was raised by ponies. I believe it.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

WHY AM I SUDDENLY WRITING A CRACK FICLET ABOUT BRADLEY BEING RAISED BY PONIES??? YOU ARE A BAD INFLUENCE.

[mklutz]

OR AN AMAZING INFLUENCE, Y/Y? ALSO, BECAUSE THERE IS A HIGH PROBABILITY THAT THE STORY IS TRUE.

When Bradley says his Mom never reacts to his roles but did this time, what he means is the interpretive dance finally paid off. "Phone call" my ass.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

When Bradley says his Mom never reacts to his roles but did this time, what he means is the interpretive dance finally paid off.

Bradley was ridiculously delighted when - instead of staring blankly and bending her head back down to munch on some oats - his mother whinnied and attempted to bite his nose. It was the equivalent of uproarious shouting in Bradley-world, so he kind-of, maybe, translated it as such when he talked about her in an interview.

Look, it wasn't that he was ashamed of his parents, it was just really awkward to explain that your parents are ponies. (People always looked at him weirdly afterward, though Bradley could never quite figure out why.)

[mklutz]

Sometimes Bradley has to translate his actual life into something palatable to the general public. Interestingly, he slipped up once in front of Colin, who didn't question it at all. Possibly Colin is just having a laugh at his expense, or possibly Ireland is much more interesting than Bradley previously had thought.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

or possibly Ireland is much more interesting than Bradley previously had thought

AHAHAHAHA, PERFECT.

BRADLEY: HEY KATIE, WHAT'S IRELAND LIKE?
KATIE: ...NICE.
BRADLEY: *FAILS AT SUBTLETY* ARE PEOPLE THERE OCCASIONALLY RAISED BY PONIES??
KATIE: PONIES?
BRADLEY: ER. NEVER MIND.

[mklutz]

KATIE: HEY, COLIN, I THINK BRADLEY THINKS YOU WERE RAISED BY PONIES.
COLIN: SURE, WHATEVER. LISTEN, I REALLY NEED TO FINISH THIS HOMEWORK.
KATIE: . . .

Because while Colin wasn't raised by ponies, he knows some people who were. It's the difference between the far reaches of Northern Ireland vs the rest of Ireland.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

KATIE: *GOOGLES IRELAND+RAISED-BY-PONIES*
ANGEL: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
KATIE: I THINK COLIN WAS RAISED BY PONIES. OR MAYBE MY PREDICTIONS ABOUT BRADLEY HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE.
ANGEL: *TEXTS PPL FURIOUSLY*

JOE: HEY BRADLEY, IS IT TRUE THAT YOU WERE RAISED BY UNICORNS?
BRADLEY: WHAT?

[mklutz]

Raised by ponies didn't bring anything up, but this and this did. ?!

COLIN: SO, UNICORNS.
BRADLEY: SHUT UP, COLIN.
COLIN: NO, IT'S COOL. I MEAN, PONIES, WHATEVER. BUT UNICORNS...
BRADLEY: REALLY???
COLIN: . . .
COLIN: NO. UNICORNS ARE IMAGINARY. ALSO, I STILL HAVE TO FINISH THIS HOMEWORK.
BRADLEY: D:

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

Following this, Bradley probably starts finding PLASTIC UNICORNS in his room, and for Christmas gets a huge stuffed one from Katie. His parents are most unpleased.


Bradley's mother absolutely hated the unicorn. When he'd brought it round so she could see what he got for Christmas this year, she attempted to rip its horn off (there was always the off chance that she'd mistaken it for some strange, new vegetable, but Bradley liked to think that her actions had meaning).

Fortunately, he was able to rescue the stuffed creature before anything too terrible happened to it. Unfortunately, he was going to have an impossibly hard (heh) time explaining to Katie why a sizable chunk of the mane was now missing.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_calex_/]

.... You know, I love Katie and Angel and their NETWORKING OF D00M. I love how they go from Colin's raised by ponies to Bradley being raised by unicorns, whut? XDDDDD

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

It's like this game I used to play in elementary school! You'd whisper something in a person's ear, and go around in a huge circle to see how distorted the message was at the end of the line.

[mklutz]

Clearly the next step is for Richard Wilson to take up puzzles during downtime instead of table tennis. I recommend this 500 piece wonder and asking if Bradley would like to help.

Katie would be lucky to never meet Bradley's mother who would probably tear her a new one for any inappropriate unicorn comments. It was just lucky that they lived in a remote area and that Bradley's cellphone got such good reception.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

Unicorns to Bradley are obviously paperclips to Colin. One day some fangirl will ask him to sign a picture of a sparkly unicorn and he will break down crying, or something.


Colin's fate as Bradley's One True Love is sealed when Bradley takes him to visit his mother (not that he tells Colin she's his mother, or anything - that can wait until their eventual first anniversary) and she nibbles at his left ear affectionately.

"She likes you!" Bradley exclaims excitedly. He contemplates throwing his arms around Colin's neck and hugging him, but figures that might be a little too gay. Though it might lead to him losing his Shagging In A Meadow Of Flowers Virginity, which would be exciting.

[mklutz]

Colin's life is clearly so much easier than Bradley's, but really, he has no one but himself to blame. Honestly, he totally lacks subtlety. And I love it.

Colin takes the whole pony-family thing very well, and Bradley's mom seems enamoured of Colin's soft Irish accent, the same one that had confounded and distracted Bradley so terribly at first.

Even Bradley's Dad seems to like Colin, tossing his mane a little and giving Colin a very serious look that nonetheless had a thread of approval running through it, even as he chewed sloppily on a mouth-full of grass.

[tenfeethigh.livejournal.com]

PONY!FIC IS EPIC OMG

[drjenny88.livejournal.com]

OMG the pony fic is epic and awesome XD
You GUYS!

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

Katie finds out, because Katie always finds out.

"Ponies, huh?" she says appraisingly, eying the photo of his parents.

"IT'S JUST PHOTOSHOP," Bradley protests (despite not really knowing what 'Photoshop' is - sounds intelligent, anyway), but Katie just gives him a Look and reaches out to adjust his chainmail.

Surprisingly, Bradley does not find his life story in the tabloids the next morning. He does, however, begin finding bags of carrots and apples in weird places (his sock drawer?).

[http://users.livejournal.com/_calex_/]

..... AHAHAHAHAH, OH BRADLEY. INTERPRETIVE DANCE. PRANCE ABOUT IN MEADOWS OF FLOWERS.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

LOL, I AM GLAD YOU ENJOY THE EPIC CRAZY THAT IS BRADLEY'S SECRET CHILDHOOD. XD

[prelusion.livejournal.com]

OHEMGEE!
YOU ARE MADE OF LULZ!
For some reason I can only imagine Bradley as an adult deciding that he wanted to be raised by ponies. Colin tries to tell him that ponies don't raise people and that, even if they did Bradley's already been raised by actual people and he is An Adult. Bradley does not listen to Colin as it has been his 12 minute life long dream to be raised by ponies. He frolicks into the nearest flowery field, strips off his clothes and beings an interpretive dance whislt Colin shakes his head and returns to the shade as not to get a tan.

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

Bradley and ponies just seems to be a combination of EPIC WIN.